Thirsty Thursday

It’s been a long week.  Work is dead today.  90% of our employees are off.  Why wasn’t I one of them??  I haven’t done any work today.   I chatted with New Boss (although I think her new name is going to be Crazy Cat Lady) for a good hour today.  She walks into my office this morning and here’s our conversation:

Her: So, you know how you’re driving and then stop at a light and some really hot guy beeps at you in the car next to you and you look over?? 
Me: Yes. (anticipating a story about some really ridiculously good looking man — she is single, afterall – beeping at her this morning)
Her: Well, I was following you over the bridge last night (seriously?!!? Stalker!!) and I beeped at you 3 times and you didn’t even see me!!! (Worst.story.ever.  There was no mention of a hott guy.  Lame)
Me: Oohhh, I must have not been paying attention. (or maybe I did see you but chose to ignore you, you crazy lady!!)

She also watches The Hills.  Yes, the MTV show, the Hills!!  Seriously?!?!  I watch the Hills.  (don’t judge me)  It’s weird that a 50+ year old crazy cat lady watches that show too!!  She also listens to the top 40 stuff on the radio stations?  How do I know this??  We took one of our new secretaries out to lunch the other day — which, btw, she drives an Audi and when she parks next to me, makes my car look like an old trashy hoop-dee (sp?) – and she was fumbling through the radio stations and it lands on some hip-hop song and she was totally rockin’ out to it.  No joke. 

It’s painful being at work on the day before the 4th of July.  Everyone and their mothers (minus me and Crazy Cat Lady) are here at work.  It will be nice to have a long weekend, although it’s supposed to rain all weekend.  Booo. 

So, look what I found:

What are they???  They’re The BreakFast Club finger puppets!!!!  So random.  I <3 The Breakfast Club.

I need to get my hair colored stat… but my hair stylist is in Guatemala for a month.  She and her partner (yes, my hair stylist swings on the other side of the fence…) adopted the most adorable Guatemalan baby.  She showed me pictures of the cutie when I got my hair cut a few weeks ago.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I fully supporting adoption… but I think my hair takes precedence over that.   Especially when my roots are this bad.  OK, fine.  Maybe not.  I bought this new shampoo at Target (pronounced: “Tar-jhay”) and I don’t think I like it.  My hair isn’t as soft and it takes me forever and a day to dry it in the mornings … and I am NOT a morning person … nor do I enjoy spending any substantial amount of time on myself in the mornings (or in general) … so it irritates me even more.  Although for someone who doesn’t like to spent a lot of time on her appearance, I totally dropped $85 at Sephora last weekend.  Don’t judge me.  The bad thing is …… now I want to get rid of all my old makeup and buy new stuff at Sephora!  Ugh.

I love this:

The coconut I stole brought back with me from Florida is still green!  WTF.  Loud Boss said I’ll probably turn brown before it does.  So true.  I put it on my window sill in my office (thinking that maybe sun will help it ripen faster … you know, like how bananas do).  No.  It’s been sitting there for 2 weeks now and it’s barely turned brown.  God.  Why.can’t.you.ripen.already!!  The Boy told me to put an apple next to it, because apples have something in them that makes food (or other fruit) ripen fast.  Um, sure.  So… I had this apple on my desk for … I’d say about 2 months.  Everyone who walked into my office touched and man-handled that poor apple.  So, about 2 weeks after having my cocount here, I put the apple next to it.  A week later, nothing changed … but I left the apple next to the coconut and continued waiting for a miracle.  A few days later I walked past the coconut and realized that my apple wasn’t there.  Who stole my apple?!?!  I asked Jokester who stole my apple and he said that Crazy Cat Lady ate it.  Bahahaha.  Crazy Cat Lady ATE the old apple that was man-handled by just about everyone in our office.  I hope she gets herpes now.  That’s hilarious.  BTW, I have a candy jar on my desk (something I picked up at my last job – we always had a candy jar on my desk and everyone came and ate my candy).  Crazy Cat Lady walks into my office 2938482 times a day just to eat my candy.  God, it’s so annoying.  Candy Whore.  (maybe that should be her new nickname!)